WAYS TO GET YOUR RELATIONSHIP BACK

























This is one of the most common mistakes. It is also the least effective if you want to try to win back your love. We think that if we tell them how much we miss them, or that we are nothing without them, something will click inside of their hearts and we will get the relationship back. But actually the opposite happens.



Begging will only make them lose respect for us. Who’s going to value someone who isn’t able to survive on their own? How can we feel love for someone who doesn’t seem to love himself very much? It’s like trying to get a job but the only thing you can tell the hiring manager is that they should give you the job because you need it.This type of behavior usually overwhelms the other person. Your partner might start to feel guilty. They might start to see you as unnecessary pressure in their lives. If you do get them to pity you, it might just be because they feel guilty. But in that case, you will have lost them forever.

1.Nurture yourself.

Relationship is about giving, but don't make the mistake of giving too much. "To have a good marriage, you need to be a good you," says Bowman. "Learn how to prioritize and put boundaries around activities that keep you healthy and whole—activities like rest, relaxation, fitness and time with friends." In other words, remember that scheduling "me" time into your day is not selfish, it's a necessity. It will strengthen your relationship because you'll have a saner version of "you" to bring to the "us" equation.









   

2. Define your problems.

Spend some time looking at your relationship and figure out which parts work and which parts don't. Bowman suggests that you take a moment to imagine a perfect day in your perfect relationship. What would this look like? How would you and your partner interact? Then create a plan of how you might get from point A (your current reality) to point B (that perfect day). Write it down if you need to, then start breaking the issues into bite-size pieces and tackling them one at a time. Before you know it, there will only be a few bite-size problems left.





















3. Make a financial plan together.


Money is one of the biggest stress in a marriage. Couples worry and argue about it constantly. If you find you and your spouse are starting to badger each other over the bottom line, it's time to have a penny-pinching powwow. "We are all guilty of something economists call 'passive decision-making,' which just means defaulting to the easy option,Using Economics to Master Love, Marriage, and Dirty Dishes. "Couples need to make an active plan about how they will manage their money: Combine it? Separate it? Create a joint account and keep some separate? Whatever the decision, both people have to be part of the decision to do it and then figure out what needs to be done to keep the system humming."

















4. Take your fighting gloves off.

Don't duke it out. Instead, consider taking a time-out. "There's a concept called 'loss aversion' in economics, which simply means we really hate to lose. And when we think we are losing, we fight like there is no tomorrow to try to win," says Anderson. "It happens when couples talk about hot-button issues like sex, housework, money or the kids. If either person thinks he or she is losing, he or she will ratchet up the stakes and escalate the issue." The next time you see a spousal spat going to a not-so-happy place, take a break and revisit the subject when neither one of you feels overwhelmed by the topic.





















5.Set goals for your relationship that you can work towards.


Set goals for each other as a couple. It could be anything. Maybe you can aim for a certain target with your shared income. Perhaps you can try setting fitness goals that you can work towards together. Either way, it grants you an opportunity to bond and work on a project together.


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