COVID-19: How to manage your relationship with partner during this Lockdown

Almost all of us are now affected by COVID-19 and the emergency measures being taken to slow its transmission. We’re stocking up on essential items. Schools across the country are closed, leaving us to homeschool our kids. Claustrophobia is settling in as theaters, stores, restaurants and small businesses shutter their doors. Financial concerns abound as thousands are losing hours at work or being laid off entirely, plus the stock market is fluctuating wildly. And beneath it all lurks the ominous concern: what if I or my loved ones get sick?

To add to this already heavy list of worries, many of us aren’t used to spending so much time at home every day with our partner, even when a crisis isn’t in the mix. Love is 24/7, but usually our days together are not. Cabin fever may not be viral, but it is real: if we don’t take proactive steps to keep our relationships healthy, they could buckle under the pressure. 

Here are some actionable tips that you can begin using today to help your marriage or partnership through this stressful time.

Learn to communicate better

Communication is vital in all relationships, all the time. When you are isolated and together 24/7, good communication is even more essential. We're all going to feel the pressure. Listen, value and empathise with your partner. Like you, their feelings are never wrong. Spend this time learning different or improved styles of communication to benefit both of you. This time cooped-up together can make or break some relationships. Learning how to respond more thoughtfully, eliminating poor or harsh responses, and improving tolerance is vital. The last thing either of you needs is added tension and stress. The time to support, develop a new understanding and add fun and laughter can get you through stronger.

 Here are some tips to fill in those hours each day: 

Spend time learning new things about each other by writing out questions for your partner, answering your partners' questions before your partner responds. This can really ascertain what you know about the other person, a great learning time

Learning some great communication skills during this time will help enormously, reduce conflict and enhance your connection

Make lists of things you've wanted to do together; circle the ones you can do at home and plan future activities once this issue is gone

Schedule time for each of you to work, chat with friends and family. Arrange together time to cook, exercise, dance, play and getting out for a walk or run together

Clean your room or house, do those maintenance jobs, clean out the shed and your cupboards. Things we always put off due to our busy life can be completed with some extra free time.

Remember, No One Is Perfect

Has your partner been moodier than usual? On edge? Lethargic? Overly frenetic? In times of prolonged stress or alarm, mood swings are common, and the COVID-19 pandemic is all the more difficult because it’s something we’ve never faced before. We’re all flying blind on this one.


If your partner’s behavior has been unusual, give extra attention to their mood, and remember not to internalize it or read into it. If you’re concerned you’ve somehow triggered them emotionally, simply ask directly and calmly. If they say their mood has nothing to do with you, believe it. Everyone will react to this rapidly shifting landscape in their own unique way, and it’s not your job to jump into your partner’s brain and determine their thoughts. We are all stressed these days and have a responsibility to manage our behaviors, but no one is perfect. Remember that.

Practice Kindness In The Face Of Fear

With COVID-19 spreading across the nation, many of us are scared right now, and rightfully so. Yet yelling or snapping at your partner will not only intensify the crisis in the short-term, it will erode your relationship in the long term.

Hold yourself in check. When you feel like shouting or criticizing, take a deep breath and a step back. Count your blessings and practice gratitude. Remind yourself that your partner is doing their best amid the chaos, just as you are. Make it a point to say please or thank you to each other, even for the littlest things. Tell jokes, laugh when you can. Weather this storm together, and above all, be kind to each other.
It’s essential to understand you’re not alone. The feelings you are experiencing,fear, anxiety, anger, frustration, or something else entirely are all normal and okay. That said, it’s crucial not to let your emotions dictate how you treat, or how you react to, your partner. This is a time for pulling together and drawing on the unique strengths of your relationship. You’ll get through this thing together.

Above all, be honest with yourselves. Understand that you’re used to one kind of life and may be meeting another reality which catches you with your pants down.

If you’ve been used to eating meals out, for example, make the most of being at home and learn how to cook! If the sink gets blocked, go online and learn how to repair it!


You can also take skills from your working life and bring them home and practice with your partner.